9 Simple Things You Can Do For Your Significant Other

Posted on February 18, 2010, 7:00 pm, by Jake and received No Comments ».

In relationships just as in life, sometimes the simple things are the sweetest. Not every act of love has to be big and extravagant or cleverly thought out. Sometimes just showing your partner little signs of your love is more than enough to make them happy.

What kind of things should you do? Anything that you know will make your significant other happy. Some of the things Kandi and I do and that you can try out in your own relationship are:

1. Clean up after yourself. It’s simple yet most of us fail to do it. Just showing your partner that you don’t expect them to be your maid can go a long way. So guys clean up the pee on the toilet seat and ladies please get the hair out of the sink. :)

2. Leave them a love note. Write your significant other a love note and hide it somewhere they’ll stumble upon later. I know it sounds corny but it’s nice knowing that someone loves you when you least expect it.

3. Do something they’re dreading to do. I don’t know how many times I’ve dreaded doing something only to find it done when I got home. It’s such a great feeling knowing someone has your back.

4. Pick up their favorite food. Whether it’s stopping at the grocery store to get ice cream or KFC for some fried chicken, everybody loves being surprised with their favorite food.

5. Give them a massage. Kandi ALWAYS asks for massages but on those rare occasions when she doesn’t and I give her one, she loves it. A simple five minutes foot or back rub after a long day of work is a great way to show them you care.

6. Give them a hug/kiss. No, not one of those crappy hugs or quick peck on the lips before you rush out the door – we’re talkin’ about a nice big bear hug or a big wet kiss. Taking the time to give them a proper hug or smooch without going through the motions can say a lot.

7. Take an interest in their interests. You don’t have to read all four books of twilight to take the time to watch the movies. Nor do you have to know all the players on a team to watch the game with them. Basically, you don’t have to take a huge interest in what they’re interested in to show that you’re still interested in them, understand?

8. Listen to them. There’s a difference between listening and hearing. I’m guilty of this sometimes when I’m on the computer and Kandi is talking to me. But it’s not that hard to stop what you are doing and give them your full attention. So next time don’t just hear them but actually listen to what they’re saying.

9. Tell them you love them. And truly mean it. Take the time to really tell them how they make you feel and how in love with them you really are. It’s something most couples stop doing as the years go by. So stop, slow down, and tell them you love them.

What are some simple things you do for your significant other?

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How to Deal with Fights

Posted on February 11, 2010, 11:29 pm, by Jake and received 2 Comments ».

Fighting is something that all couples will deal with. They might be big fights, little fights, stupid fights, or whatever – you’re going to have them. But what most couples don’t know is how to properly deal with them when they eventually do happen.

Most couples deal with fights the wrong way. And when they’re angry and not thinking clearly they handle the situation poorly. This could be anything from hitting, yelling, or even shutting the other person out completely.

Now Kandi and I do have our share of fights and even though we can really blow up at each other they’re usually resolved quickly. And all those fights we have big or small make our relationship that much stronger.

So how do you properly deal with a fight?

First of all, when you have a big fight get away from each other. When you’re pissed and angry you’re going to say and do things you’re going to regret. So go in another room, go for a walk, and just get some space from each other.

Secondly, take all that anger and aggression and get it out. Whether you do so by walking, running, punching a punching bag, hitting a pillow, etc. it can help you cool down and get rid of some of your aggression. You should NEVER hit your partner under any circumstances and if you have to break something to keep yourself from doing so then do it.  And if you are in an abusive relationship then you need to understand it’s not acceptable at all. There are plenty of ways to burn off steam but resorting to physical abuse is unacceptable.

Another exercise we know of is when you’re angry or upset, write down everything you feel. Every nasty thing you want to say write it down. Get it all out of your system and when you’re cooled off throw it away. We haven’t tried this yet but for those of us who break things when we’re angry it can be an alternative emotional outlet(not to mention a cheaper one).

After you’re all cooled down and thinking clearly you need to go back and talk it out. You can’t just forget about it and leave it unresolved. This doesn’t help a relationship. You need to talk and work it out because if you don’t you won’t grow as a couple. You won’t solve anything and more likely than not you’ll fight about the same thing again.  So communicate – let them know how you feel and why you feel that way. But this is also a two way street. You have to listen and see where your partner is coming from and compromise.

Most people think fighting is a bad thing when really it’s not.  Healthy fighting is vital for a relationship to grow stronger and you can learn lots about each other through them. In your relationship you’re gonna have big fights, it’s inevitable – just make sure you deal with them the right way.

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Engaged at a Young Age

Posted on February 9, 2010, 10:48 pm, by Jake and received No Comments ».
engaged couple looking very happy with their ring
engaged couple from Crestock Stock Photography

When most people think of being engaged they think of a couple in their mid to late 20’s or 30’s. What most people do not understand are couples who get engaged at a young age. A lot of people consider teenagers or even those in their early 20’s too young of an age to get engaged because “They’re not old enough” or “They’re not mature enough.”  While we agree that maturity plays a huge role in being engaged at any age we don’t believe that age has anything to do with it. Some couples find each other early in life, some later – and some couples are years and years apart in age. Is it wrong for those people to get married? Not if they’re in love and ready for the commitment that comes with marriage. Age truly is nothing but a number and if a couple is in love then there shouldn’t be a problem at all.

But with the young couples who are getting engaged and are planning to be married in the upcoming year(s) have to possess a certain level of maturity. And with most teenage or young adult couples we know that’s not always the case. At least for some of the ones we know.

And this is the reason why society shuns the idea of young engagements. This and because a lot of young engaged couples are not ready for such a commitment. With the divorce rates around 50% and even higher for couples married at a younger age, we don’t blame society for the way they think. But there are exceptions to this rule. Those couples who realize that marriage is a one time deal and not something that can be undone or annulled. The ones that realize that marriage will take work and a lifetime of commitment.

With us, we know what’s in store. We understand all that comes with marriage and are ready to make this commitment. We’re pretty sure our wedding date will be July 7, 2012 and this will give us some time to save, create a liveable income, and find a home for ourselves. People ask us, “Why are you in a rush to get married?” Well, we’re not. We’re not getting married for another two years – but we wanted to make a commitment to each other that the whole world could see.

This all depends on the couple. We know some couples who are engaged and to us it doesn’t seem like a good thing but then again it doesn’t matter what we think. It doesn’t matter what society thinks. It’s their decision and theirs alone. Yeah, couples who get married at a young age have an higher rate of divorce but for every rule there are exceptions. If a couple loves each other, is mature enough, and ready for the kind of commitment marriage brings, it doesn’t matter how old they are.

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